Ode to Peppermint Oil

Ode - [ohd] - noun

1. a lyric poem typically elaborate or irregular metrical form and expressive of exalted or enthusiastic emotion.

Okay, so maybe subtract the "lyric" part and the "poem" part... but "elaborate", "irregular" and "expressive of exalted or enthusiastic emotion" definitely apply!

Our story begins with the fact that I don't like peppermint. I never really have and I blame it on my dad because he doesn't really like peppermint either. Some other mints are fine, but NOT peppermint (candy canes and peppermint discs are totally out - unless they're the cherry kind of candy canes... those are pretty tasty...)

I digress.

I used to work for a company where I could get bottles of essential oils at a discounted price. I am a believer in the benefits of aromatherapy (to a degree) and generally like to have my house smell good. So I tried one of everything, including two different types of peppermint oil; one was to be used primarily for aromatherapy, but the other was ingestible. Why not, I thought.

When I got my box full of essential oils, my first thought was to smell them all. (This turned out to be a mistake because I'm pretty sure I killed my nose and couldn't smell anything for a few weeks.) Due to the outcome of my "smell-them-all" adventure, I postponed tasting the few ingestible oils I got for a few days.

When I got my nerve up, again, I decided to try the flax seed oil. (This was also a mistake; flax seed oil may have its benefits, but I'm reasonably certain that people have to be very sick in order to ingest it... or else it will make them very sick, and you have to keep it down for it to do you any good.)

After I got my nerve up again - sincerely hoping that the next ingestible oil would not require a bucket and a lot of toothpaste to get over - I went straight to the peppermint oil... I figured, "I know I won't like it, I'm not a fan of peppermint-anything." Why this logic encouraging me to try something I was destined to not like worked is beyond me, but it did... otherwise you wouldn't have this incredible (ahem) story to read.

I opened the little one-ounce bottle and dabbed a little onto my pointer finger, opened my mouth, and sucked off the little dollop of oil. "Not bad," was my initial reaction. A few seconds later my eyes began to water, along with my nose, and I'm pretty sure that steam or smoke began coming out of my ears. It only took once - I was addicted. (To more fully understand my affinity to things that clean out my sinuses with flames, please site my addictions eucalyptus oil, wasabi, horseradish, hot peppers, and Chinese mustard.)

I ordered more of the little one-ounce bottles of peppermint oil and hid them everywhere. I kept one in my purse, one in my desk at work, one on my dresser, one in my car... It was the ultimate breath-freshener without the negative side effects of gum (sore jaw, necessity of locating a garbage), toothpaste (rather bulky, necessity of locating a sink), and Binaca (totally sends the wrong message).

I began using peppermint oil all the time; after work lunches, after dinner dates (?), before work meetings, before dates (?), during church, and whenever I needed clear sinuses... Due to my regular use of peppermint oil, I began to notice certain unexpected benefits. Not only would peppermint oil clear my sinuses and overpower any undesirable smells, but it also settled my upset stomach, lessened headache pain, treated external pain, quieted coughing fits, got rid of my hiccups, calmed my senses, relieved stress-related tension, relaxed my muscles, and made all the guys I work with wonder what smelled so good. Amazing! I decided that peppermint oil had become my own personal universal cure for everything.

It was, of course, after my individual empirical studies into the health benefits of peppermint oil that I decided to look up the certified health benefits of peppermint oil. All of my new discoveries have, naturally, been documented for years. It even is being studied as a help for treating tuberculosis and cancer. (So much for my break-through into the "scientific discoveries" world.) I would like to say that it's not so cool now that I know that people have known these things for years... but that would be lying.

It's still pretty freaking amazing!